


Chase the Shimmer

by HansonPhreek



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, loss of magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7658155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HansonPhreek/pseuds/HansonPhreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something happened to Seamus during the Battle for Hogwarts, something that changed his life dramatically. Will returning for his 8th year fix things?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chase the Shimmer

**Author's Note:**

> **Creator's Notes** : I gave myself the extra challenge of using some quotes I loved from a forum thread over at the NaNoWriMo website. I think it worked out quite nicely and gave the fic a nice bit of insightfulness.  
>  **Disclaimer** : Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended

Only after the darkness has cleared can you see the aftermath. And only when you witness the destruction can you attempt to repair it. 

This was the thought that made Seamus Finnigan return to Hogwarts for “Eighth” year, even though he had no reason to. At some point during the Battle for Hogwarts he’d been hit by a strong spell and when he’d woken up a little bit later his magic was gone. Just gone, completely and utterly gone.

When it first happened, he’d only confided in one person, his boyfriend Dean Thomas. It was an easy thing to hind, much to Seamus’s surprise. In the first few days after the battle, there had been so much going on that no one had noticed. And when it came time for him to leave Hogwarts after the war, he chose to go with Dean instead of returning home to his family. He couldn’t bear the thought of being away from his lover again. So they had stayed with Dean’s family, where his parents had requested that they didn’t use magic, until they were able to find a place of their own. 

Their new home was in a neighborhood on the outskirts of wizarding London, where Muggles lived peacefully alongside wizards. Seamus loved their loft and felt completely safe there. None of his neighbors knew the truth about him; the Muggles weren’t aware that he was supposed to be magical and the wizards assumed he only did magic in the security of his loft like they did because that was just the way it was done there.

Dean, for his part, tried to be as supportive as possible. He only used magic when it was absolutely necessary, only talked about what happened when Seamus brought up the subject, and didn’t mention how odd it was that the sandy-haired man still carried his wand everywhere he went. Seamus and Dean tried their best to have a normal life, given what they’d been through. They even met with their friends every Friday that summer at Grimmauld Place, where Harry, Ron and Hermione were living.

These gatherings were hard on Seamus. Magic was abundant, since everyone was of age, and it was with great difficulty that he hid the truth from his friends. Dean had suggested that they just tell everyone what happened, but Seamus had gotten so upset that he’d never suggested it again. Seamus _really_ didn’t want anyone to know.

Things were going well, Seamus thought, until he and Dean received letters from Hogwarts. The newly appointed Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, had determined that the previous year had been too much of a disaster and that _everyone_ would be repeating it. And thus an Eighth year was established. Seamus briefly considered coming clean. How would he hide the fact that he could no longer do magic while attending a school specifically designed to teach students how to do magic? It would be impossible. But then he realized that the solution to his problem could very well have been at the school. He’d lost his magic there; perhaps there was some way to get it back there. Dean was skeptical, to say the least, but he had always been unable to tell his lover “no”.

And so it was that Seamus found himself once again on the Hogwarts Express on the 1st of September. He and Dean made their way hand in hand down the aisle of the train until they found a compartment that contained only one first year. Seamus held open the door and practically glared at the young student, “Out.” The first year jumped slightly and then quickly grabbed his trunk and dragged it out of the compartment. Seamus grinned and pulled his own trunk and his boyfriend into the now empty compartment. “It’s good to be on top.”

Dean smirked, “Isn’t it?” The look on Dean’s face made Seamus blush slightly as he turned to put his trunk away. “But you wouldn’t know anything about _that_ , would you?” Seamus was saved from having to answer as the compartment door opened. “Hey, Harry,” Dean greeted, moving farther into the small space.

“Hey guys, mind if we join you?” Harry asked.

Seamus peered around the brunet and saw Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Luna lined up outside in the aisle. “If you think you can all fit,” Seamus said with a shrug, his cheeks still slightly flushed. He was more nervous than he’d anticipated.

Hermione stepped around Harry, grinning. “We _are_ wizards, Seamus,” she said matter-of-factly. “If we don’t, we’ll just make more room.”

Seamus turned to look at his boyfriend. Dean frowned at Hermione, who didn’t seem to notice, and grabbed his boyfriend by the wrist. He pulled Seamus in close and gave him a chaste kiss before pulling him down to sit next to the window. Dean settled in next to him as the rest of their friends stowed their trunks and worked out how they’d all fit. In the end, Hermione had to enlarge the compartment slightly. As she cast the charm Seamus closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the window. Dean squeezed his hand in sympathy.

“Who would have thought that we’d all be back here one more time?” Harry mused once everyone had a seat.

There were murmurs of agreement. “It’s a bit odd, isn’t it? After all we’ve been through, to be doing something so normal,” Neville said, his tone agreeing with Harry.

“But it will be nice to go back,” Ron added.

Seamus stared out the window as the conversation continued around him. He didn’t care what they were talking about, it all seemed trivial to him now. The only thing that mattered was getting back to the one place that might have some answers for him. The possibility that he could become himself again was exciting. As the train chugged quickly north, Seamus felt oddly happier than he had in months.

Dean chatted with his friends for a while about going back to Hogwarts, the professors they thought would be there, the classes they were going to take, and how Harry would most likely be treated. As the sun began to set he looked over at his lover. Seamus hadn’t said anything since they’d been joined by their friends. Dean leaned in close to the other man and whispered, “I love you.”

Seamus jumped slightly and then smiled at the dark skinned Gryffindor next to him. “I love you too.” He leaned forward and kissed Dean.

After a moment they separated and Seamus looked back out the window. “Hey,” Dean said quietly, “are you okay?” Seamus nodded, still looking out the window. Dean frowned. “Are you really?”

Seamus turned slowly back to his boyfriend and shook his head, “No. No I’m not.”

Dean wrapped an arm around Seamus’s shoulders and pulled him close. He didn’t have to ask to know what was bothering the man he loved. “We’ll figure it out.”

Seamus sighed and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “What if there’s nothing we can do?”

Dean nuzzled Seamus’s sandy hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. “I don’t know.” They sat this way for a bit, not saying anything as their friends’ conversation continued on without them. “Whatever happens,” Dean said eventually, “we’ll face it together.”

Seamus lifted his head and gave Dean a small smile. “We will.” He leaned in and kissed the other Gryffindor passionately.

Suddenly there was a bright flash and the couple jumped apart, bracing for whatever new disaster would present itself. Seamus frowned when he realized it was just Luna brandishing a camera. “Luna!” Dean exclaimed in amusement.

Luna smiled one of her dreamy smiles and said, “You two are such the perfect couple.”

Dean chuckled. “Thanks, Luna.”

The blonde girl continued to smile at him for a moment before she unexpectedly gasped and looked out the window excitedly. “A humdigging farkle!”

Seamus rolled his eyes and quietly mumbled, “Loony is right.”

Dean elbowed his boyfriend in the ribs. When Seamus looked at him, he frowned and scolded the other man. “That’s not very nice.”

“We’re almost there!” Hermione announced, effectively distracting Seamus from the response he was trying to come up with. Just then, the train began to slow down.

“Oh! So _that’s_ why the train is moving slower now!” Ron exclaimed sarcastically. The compartment filled with laughter and Hermione glared at the redhead. After a moment Ron pulled Hermione in for a kiss and mumbled, “Sorry, love.”

Luna snapped another picture quickly. Neville asked curiously, “Why are you taking pictures?”

“I want to remember this year forever,” the seventh year replied. “Plus Daddy asked me to write an article for _The Quibbler_ about our return to Hogwarts.”

“You’re a journalist now?” Ginny asked, intrigued.

Luna shrugged slightly. “I guess so.”

Seamus looked out the window again, excitement and fear coursing through his body. Dean tightened his arm around his shoulders and Seamus felt slightly more relaxed. As the train pulled into Hogsmeade Seamus turned back to his friends and joined their conversation. “Well, I don’t really care what the article says about _me_.”

Harry sighed, resigned to his fate. “As long as it’s not _just_ about me.”

Luna grinned. “Great!” She snapped a quick succession of photos of the group of friends and then stowed her camera in her trunk.

The train stopped moving and soon they were all out on the platform looking for a carriage to take them up to the castle. As they stood there, Luna grabbed Seamus’s arm. “Can I talk to you?” she asked in a hushed voice.

Seamus looked over at Dean in confusion. The dark-skinned Gryffindor simply shrugged, not know what Luna could want. “Yeah, alright, Luna. What is it?” Seamus asked.

Luna, being uncharacteristically serious, led the older student to a spot slightly away from the others. “I’ve been meaning to say something all summer,” she began. “There’s something different about you.”

Seamus panicked slightly; was it possible that Luna knew the truth? He didn’t think so. He’d been so careful. “Oh yeah?” he responded, trying to sound nonchalant.

The blonde girl nodded. “Yeah, something very few people would notice. Something I noticed only because I’m special.”

Seamus furrowed his eyebrows, “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m a sensitive.”

Seamus’s heart dropped. That meant Luna _did_ know. She’d known for several months. Had she told anyone? No one else seemed to know, which meant she probably hadn’t. “Oh,” was all he could get out. His world was crashing down around him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Luna said airily, sounding more like herself.

Seamus nodded numbly. “Thanks,” he mumbled. Then a second later he asked, “How come I didn’t know you were a sensitive?”

“We all have our secrets.”

Seamus nodded again. “Yeah, we do.”

Luna turned and looked over at their friends. “Let’s get back.”

“Yeah,” Seamus agreed. As they made their way back over Seamus whispered a “Thank you” to Luna.

Luna said nothing and the next moment they were climbing onto a carriage with their friends. As they began moving towards Hogwarts, Dean leaned in and whispered, “What did she want?”

“She knows,” Seamus answered just as quietly.

Dean quickly glanced over at the girl in question. Luna was looking over her shoulder at something Dean couldn’t see (and, he suspected, that wasn’t actually there). He turned back to Seamus, “She knows?”

Seamus nodded but didn’t elaborate. He would tell Dean the whole story later, when they were cuddled up in bed safely enclosed in a Silencing Charm.

This was the one thing Seamus didn’t understand about Dean: why was he always avoiding using magic? It’s not as though it made Seamus uncomfortable. In fact, it was just the opposite. Seamus liked it when others used magic around him; it made him feel at home. It just made it harder to hide the fact that he couldn’t do it himself. Because why wouldn’t he be doing magic when everyone else was?

Seamus sat quietly thinking about his boyfriend as they rode up to the school. It was still hard to believe that they’d been together for almost three years now. Seamus still remembered that fateful day in November like it was yesterday. He and Dean had been arguing about Harry and his claims that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back. Seamus was so upset with the other Gryffindor that he suddenly had the urge to punch his best friend in the face. So he did the only sensible thing and snogged him instead. It took about 2.5 milliseconds for Dean to respond to him, and the rest was history. They’d been nearly inseparable since.

The carriage stopped in front of the large wooden doors of the school and the group of friends entered Hogwarts once again. Seamus had expected to see _some_ evidence of the battle, but he was shocked to see none. Everything looked exactly the same as it had on the morning of that long, hard, and terrible day. “You can’t even tell we fought here,” Ron said in awe, as they started across the entrance way.

“Well I’m sure that the professors have been working hard to restore the castle,” Hermione said as if she was explaining something to a particularly daft five year old. “And Hogwarts is full of very old and very powerful magic. It probably did most of the work itself.”

The group made their way into the Great Hall. “So you’re saying that Hogwarts, a building, has the ability to heal itself?” Ron asked, the skepticism in his voice hard to miss.

“Yes,” Hermione answered matter-of-factly.

The redhead grinned and added, “Wicked.”

Luna skipped off to sit with her fellow Ravenclaws, waving over her shoulder, as the rest of them claimed a section near the middle of the Gryffindor table. They were soon joined by Lavender and Parvati, and McGonagall stood at the front of the hall. The students grew silent after a few moments and looked up at their new Headmistress expectantly.

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!” she said. “Before we begin the sorting I have a few announcements.”

Seamus tried to listen, he really did, but something kept distracting him. Something that he couldn’t really see, or hear, or even feel, but something that he knew was there all the same. And his gut was telling him it was important. This thing was just a shimmer in the air and when he tried to look at it, to focus on it, it would vanish. He tracked it moving in a seemingly random pattern across the hall as the sorting began and when it darted into the entrance way, Seamus knew he had to follow it. He jumped up suddenly and walked quickly towards the door. “Seamus!” Dean whisper-yelled after him. “Where are you going?”

Seamus didn’t answer, or even turn around and look at his lover. He was on a mission and nothing would stop him. He stood in the large flagged stone entryway and surveyed the area. He was just about to give up and go back into the Great Hall when he caught sight of the shimmer on the stairs. He chased it up to the fourth floor where it suddenly moved left down a hallway.

He bolted down the hall, catching one final glimpse of the shimmer in front of the charms classroom before it disappeared completely. He slowed to a stop in front of the room and frowned as he looked up and down the hall looking for some sign of the mysterious anomaly. Seamus sighed and leaned his back against the door. What had he been chasing? Could it have been nothing? He closed his eyes and put his head against the door behind him.

A moment later he heard footsteps approaching him. He didn’t need to open his eyes, he already knew who it was. “Dean,” he said monotonously. 

“What happened back there?” Dean asked, concern evident in his voice.

Seamus opened his eyes but simply stared at the ceiling. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Seamus could hear the frown in his boyfriend’s voice.

“It’ll just sound crazy.”

Dean moved so that he was directly in front of the other man. “Just tell me.”

Seamus sighed and finally looked at the other Gryffindor. “I saw,” he paused, not sure how to describe it, “something.”

“Something?”

Seamus nodded. “Something. A shimmer.”

“’A shimmer’?”

“I told you it would sound crazy.”

Dean smiled slightly. “No. I believe you. But why did you run out of the Great Hall like that?”

Seamus leaned his head back against the door again and looked at the ceiling again. “I just had to follow it. I can’t really explain it, but I just knew it was important somehow.”

“This shimmer thing was important?” Dean sounded confused.

“And now you really think I’m crazy.”

Dean stepped forward, pressing his body against Seamus’s. “No, I don’t. If you say it’s important, then it’s important.” Seamus looked down at him again. “So where is it now?”

Seamus frowned. “It disappeared.”

“Right. Well. In that case, I guess we should head back to the Great Hall. If we hurry I think we can still get some dinner.”

Seamus shook his head. “I’d rather just go to bed.”

“Oh really?” Dean grinned, rotating his hips against his lover’s.

“Yeah, it’s been a long day.”

“And you still have to tell me about your conversation with Luna,” the dark-skinned man said, taking a small step backward.

Seamus grabbed Dean’s hips and pulled him back toward him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To bed.”

“We don’t know the password,” Seamus said, grinding himself against his boyfriend.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.” Dean’s smile turned mischievous. “I happen to be _very_ close to a certain Gryffindor Prefect.”

“Hermione?”

Dean shook his head. “Ron.” He paused. “And I have ways of getting information out of him. In fact, you could say that I’m very… _talented_ at it.”

“Mmm…you’ve always been rather talented,” Seamus mused.

Dean kissed Seamus passionately. “Let’s go to bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The two Gryffindors lay together, cuddled up under their blanket. Seamus rested his head on Dean’s chest. He’d always loved listening to the familiar thump-thump-thump of Dean’s heart. “Do you think dinner’s almost over?” Dean asked, running his hand up and down his lover’s back.

“Mmm. Yeah, it probably is,” Seamus responded. “Put up a Silencing Charm? I don’t want to be bothered.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asked with a hint of worry.

Seamus lifted himself up onto an elbow and looked at his lover. “Dean, stop worrying so much. Magic, especially your magic, does _not_ bother me. Okay?”

Dean nodded slowly. “Okay.” He sat up and grabbed his wand. With a quick wave he cast a Sticking Charm on the curtains and then a Silencing Charm. “There.” He smiled down at Seamus. “Now tell me more about that shimmer.”

“It’s like the memory of a dream I once had,” Seamus said, resting on his back. “I can’t really explain it.”

“You said that earlier,” Dean said with a chuckle. “Why did you feel the need to follow it?”

Seamus shrugged, staring at the canopy. “I don’t know.”

Dean watched the other man for a long moment but Seamus didn’t notice. He couldn’t stop thinking about that something he’d seen in the Great Hall. What was it? He didn’t know, but he didn’t care. It was something; something important. And he _would_ figure it out. Somehow. Dean finally broke the silence, “Tell me what Luna said.”

Seamus sat up, crossing his legs in front of him. “Turns out she’s a sensitive.”

Dean smiled. “Well that explains a lot.”

Seamus chuckled. “Yeah it does.”

“So is she going to tell anyone?”

“No,” Seamus shook his head. “She promised she’d keep my secret.”

“Good.” Dean paused. “Um…”

“What’s wrong?” Seamus leaned forward and kissed Dean for a moment.

“What are we going to do if you have to do a spell in class?” Dean frowned as he spoke.

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” Seamus told him. “I guess I’ll just mostly pretend. Usually we’re all practicing together so I should be fine.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, but what if you have to demonstrate for the class? Or what about tests? And the N.E.W.T.s?”

“I don’t know,” Seamus said. When Dean’s frown deepened he added, “You worry too much.”

“And you don’t worry enough!” Dean exclaimed, throwing his arms up in frustration.

Seamus chuckled. Then his chuckle turned into a laugh. A loud laugh. Dean glared at him. “It’s not funny,” he said weakly.

Seamus’s laughter faded. “It’s just,” he paused. “I can’t explain it, but I feel like everything is going to work out perfectly.”

“There’s a lot you can’t explain today,” Dean smirked.

Seamus grinned, “Well we can’t _all_ be perfect.” His stomach growled loudly. “Oh man, I’m hungry.”

“That’s what happens when you leave a feast _before_ it even starts.” Dean frowned. “I’m hungry too.”

“To the kitchen?” Seamus asked, throwing the blanket off himself and moving to open the curtain.

“Perhaps we should get dressed first,” Dean suggested.

Seamus glanced down at his naked body and blushed. “Oh. Right.”

As he and Dean got dressed they heard the dorm room door open and what sounded like several people enter the room. “I wonder where Seamus ran off to,” Ron mused, walking across the room.

“Who knows?” Harry replied. “But I expected him and Dean to come back to eat.”

“Yeah. What happened to them?” Ron asked.

“Uh, guys,” Neville said, sounding slightly embarrassed.

“Oh,” Harry mumbled. “Maybe we should just leave.”

Dean opened the curtains. “That’s okay, you don’t need to leave.” He stood up and stretched. “How was dinner?”

“It was great, as always,” Harry answered. Seamus climbed off the bed and stood next to his boyfriend. “Hey, where’d you run off to anyways?”

“Uh…” Seamus floundered, looking at Dean for help.

“He, uh, wasn’t feeling good,” Dean offered.

“Right! So I decided to come up here and lie down for a bit,” Seamus elaborated.

“And I was worried about him, so I followed him,” Dean added. “So I could take care of him.”

“And how are you feeling now?” Neville asked, concerned.

Seamus smiled. “Hungry.” Dean nodded in agreement.

“Hermione figured you would be so she made me bring you some food,” Ron told them, holding out a small bundle.

Dean took the parcel from the redhead and sat back down on his bed. “Thanks.” He placed the bundle on the bed next to him and opened it. It was stuffed full with every kind of food imaginable; way more than should have fit in the small package. Seamus sat down with his boyfriend and they ate in silence for a bit as their friends moved around the room, getting ready for bed.

“So, you two sharing a bed this year?” Neville asked a bit later.

Dean shrugged. “I suppose.”

Seamus nodded. “We might as well. I mean, we have been living together.”

“Honestly I’m surprised you didn’t share one back in sixth year, as many times as we caught you guys sneaking back and forth,” Harry chuckled. 

“Well we were trying to protect your innocence,” Seamus said, his mouth full of what appeared to be some sort of bread.

Ron laughed. “You didn’t do a very good job of it. Remember that time you broke your silencing charm?”

“Or that _other_ time you broke it? I think the whole house heard you that time,” Harry added, still chuckling.

“And who can forget all those times you simply forgot one?” Neville supplied, joining his friends in laughter.

Seamus’s cheeks turned pink and he took another bite of food to avoid having to say anything. Dean pouted slightly. “Alright, we get it. I promise we’ll be more careful this year.”

Ron rolled his eyes, “Right, because _that_ will happen.” He, Harry, and Neville laughed long and loud. Seamus and Dean simply frowned and continued eating their dinner. “I’m beat,” Ron said with a yawn after the laughter died down. “Good night mates.” He climbed into his bed and pulled his curtains shut tight.

Neville yawned as well and mumbled, “Night,” as he shut his curtains.

Harry sat on his bed. “I guess I’ll call it a night too. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a very long day.” He sighed. “Good night.”

“Night,” Seamus said before taking another bite of the food. Dean nodded his head once, mouth too full to speak. Once Harry’s curtains were fully closed Seamus leaned in to Dean and said quietly, “I always forget how famished I am after sex.”

Dean swallowed, hard. “You?” He laughed lightly. “I do most of the work!”

~~~~~~~~

The next morning they received their class schedules. Seamus was glad to see that his first day of classes was relatively light. He had double Transfiguration before lunch and then Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts after. No Potions for two whole days. Potions was the one class he was worried about. He couldn’t fake his way through that one.

Transfiguration was uneventful. The new professor, an American named Brady Coolson, was rather boring. They spent most of the double period a test to “discover” what they already knew. Once they were done with that Professor Coolson spent the last half hour telling the class all about his teaching methods.

“Bloody hell, that was boring,” Ron sighed as they left the classroom.

“I found the last bit quite interesting actually,” Hermione commented. “I’ll see you all at lunch. I have arithmancy next.” She gave Ron a quick kiss and then waved goodbye over her shoulder as she walked away.

“I’m going to go find Luna,” Neville said with a slight blush before he too walked away.

“Neville… and Luna?” Dean asked, amused.

“Looks like it,” Harry answered with a shrug.

Seamus suddenly turned around. He thought he’d seen the shimmer again. His eyes darted around the hallway until he caught sight of it. The shimmer moved lazily in a sort of spiral past several paintings and a suit of armor before scurrying down another hall to the right. Seamus ran after it.

“Seamus!” Dean called after his boyfriend.

“Where’s he going?” Ron asked as Seamus rounded the corner.

Seamus skidded to a halt a few feet down the hall. The shimmer danced back and forth in front of him. He reached a hand out to it but it moved back to stay just out of his reach. Every time he got closer the shimmer would draw back.

Dean came around the corner. He watched his lover with confusion. “Seamus, what-“

“Shh…” Seamus cut him off, waving a hand behind him in a manner that clearly said “stop that.” He continued his slow movement down the hall, his hand extended in front of him. The shimmer stayed just out of his reach the entire length of the hallway.

Dean didn’t move or speak, he just watched as Seamus followed something that he couldn’t see. “Are you seeing the shimmer again?” Dean asked. Seamus stopped walking about a foot from the window at the end of the hall. “Love?” Dean called.

Seamus turned around, frowning. “It got away.”

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. “What did?”

“The shimmer,” Seamus answered, confused. “Didn’t you see it?” Dean shook his head. “Oh.” Seamus frowned. “Maybe I _am_ crazy.”

Dean walked down the hall and wrapped his arms around the other man. “I believe you, even if I can’t see it.” He placed a gentle kiss on Seamus’s forehead. “Maybe I just didn’t look hard enough.”

Seamus looked up, hope shinning in his eyes. “Yeah?” Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I bet that’s it.” Seamus smiled back at his lover and kissed him deeply.

After a few moments Dean pulled back. “Now come on. I want to draw you before lunch.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner that night, Seamus and Dean made their way across the grounds of the school to the black lake. They sat under a large oak tree and watched the still surface of the water. The two Gryffindors sat in silence for some time, each thinking about something different. “What are you thinking about?” Seamus asked eventually.

Dean gave a small smile. “Indigo.”

“Indigo? Like the color?” Seamus asked, confused.

Dean nodded. “I love indigo. I love indigo because everyone sees it as such a sad color. They see it as this depressed, mourning color. But indigo isn’t sad. It isn’t emo, or depressed, or somber. It’s just this color.” His smiled widened. “Plus it reminds me of you.”

Seamus couldn’t help but smile. It was a lovely allegory. While everyone saw him as one thing Dean could see him differently. That’s what made them perfect for each other. “I love you,” Seamus whispered.

Dean kissed Seamus in response. The sandy haired man moved so that he was sitting in his lover’s lap as he deepened the kiss. Dean put his hands on Seamus’s hips and pulled him close. Dean’s mouth slid across Seamus’s jawbone and to his neck. Seamus tilted his head to give his boyfriend better access. He was about to close his eyes in pleasure when something in the distance shimmered.

Seams leaned back. Dean frowned at him. Seamus pointed in the direction he’d seen the shimmer. “There it is again.”

Dean looked over his shoulder. He waited but didn’t see anything. “I don’t see it.”

Seamus stood up. “It’s there. Moving in a big circle.” He moved toward it. Dean turned around, still trying to see whatever it was his lover kept following. “You don’t see it?” Seamus asked, still walking slowly forward.

“No,” Dean answered, standing up and following the other Gryffindor.

Seamus frowned. _Was_ he going crazy? As he approached the shimmer it started to retreat from him again. “Damn it. It’s on the move.” He ran after it, cursing the whole way. Dean sighed and ran after him.

They ran back across the grounds and through the large wooden front doors. Dean followed Seamus across the entrance way and up the stairs. Seamus chased the shimmer up flight after flight of stairs. Finally it turned a corner on the fifth floor. Seamus followed as closely as he could, but it seemed to speed up as it moved down the long hallway. Dean paused at the top of the steps, trying to catch his breath.

As Seamus continued to run down the hall he had only one thing on his mind: catching the shimmer. So it came as a complete surprise when he ran full force into something rather solid. As he fell backward onto his rear-end the shimmer disappeared. “Shit!” he exclaimed.

Finally he looked at the object he’d run into. It was a person. They were sprawled on the floor, head covered by Ravenclaw robes. At least it was a student and not a teacher or Filch, Seamus thought. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he stood up. He held out a hand to the other student. “Let me help you up.”

“Oh that’s quite all right,” Luna’s dreamy voice answered She pulled her robes back down and smiled up at Seamus. “You must have been chasing a Spinel Dragis.”

Seamus laughed and helped the blonde girl stand up. “Not quite.”

Dean approached them. “Hello Luna.”

“Hello Dean. Were you chasing the Spinel Dragis too?”

“Um…” he looked at Seamus, who rolled his eyes. “No. I was chasing Seamus.” He added in a whisper to his boyfriend, “Did you catch it?” Seamus shook his head slightly.

“If you weren’t chasing the Dragis, what _were_ you after?” Luna asked, tilting her head to the side a bit.

“Uh…” Seamus hesitated. Should he tell Luna? Would she think he was crazy; or would she understand? Knowing her she’d probably know what it was. “I was following…a, well…a shimmer,” he finished weakly.

“Oh that,” Luna smiled, something in her eyes twinkling. “That’s your magic.”

Seamus and Dean’s mouths dropped open. She said it as if everyone should know that; as if it was the only thing that could possibly make any sense. “My…” Seamus was stunned, “magic?”

Luna nodded. “Yep. It’s been floating around all over the school.”

“But how?” Seamus couldn’t believe it.

“It appears that the spell that hit you didn’t destroy your magic, it just separated it from you,” Luna explained. “I read about spells like that a couple of years ago. They’re really hard to perform.”

“So all this time my magic’s just been hanging out at Hogwarts?”

“Yes.”

“Why can’t I see it?” Dean asked. Seamus jumped slightly; he’d forgotten that his lover was there.

“Only Seamus and I can see it. I can see it because I can see everyone’s magic,” Luna explained. “Seamus can see it because it’s his.”

“So if my magic is still around is there some way for me to get it back?” Seamus wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. If he couldn’t get it back, what would he do?

Luna’s smile turned into a grin. “All you have to do is catch it.”

Seamus smiled for a moment, but then his smile faded. “I’ve been trying to do just that but it keeps slipping away.”

“Just keep trying,” Luna encouraged. “When the time is right, you’ll catch it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Over the course of the next week Seamus chased his magic through Hogwarts no less than sixteen times. He’d chased it into the bathroom three times, an unused classroom five times, an in-use classroom twice, out to the Quidditch pitch four times, and into Gryffindor tower once. And he had managed to run out of class at least six times. Needless to say, everyone thought he was behaving rather oddly. That, combined with his poor in-class performance, was enough to get him called into the Headmistress’s office.

So barely a week after first spotting “the shimmer” Seamus found himself sitting across a large desk from McGonagall. She gave him a stern look for a long moment before she said anything. “Mr. Finnigan, I’ve had reports from all of your professors that your performance in class is not up to par. Those that had you in previous years are saying that you are performing way below your usual ability.” She frowned at him. “The professors have also said that on several occasions you have unexpectedly left class without permission. Do you have anything to say about all this?”

Seamus shook his head. He didn’t know how to explain any of that without giving away his secret. He figured that silence was his best choice for the moment.

The expression on McGonagall’s face softened. “I know you went through a lot here last year and I’m sure that it’s been hard coming back.”

Seamus nodded. “It has, Professor.” He was jumping for joy on the inside; McGonagall was providing the excuse for him.

“Alright, here’s what we’ll do,” she said, smiling softly at him. “You will try harder in class, I will arrange for Miss Granger to tutor you twice a week, and you will stop running out of class without permission. Understood?”

“Yes, Headmistress,” Seamus smiled. “Thank you.”

“If I hear anymore grievances about you from your professors you will be given detention.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Very well. You may go.” Seamus stood up and turned to leave. As he did the large portrait of Dumbledore winked at him. Seamus chuckled lightly, Dumbledore had always been a bit odd. As he opened the door, McGonagall spoke again. “And Seamus, if at any point you feel `like you need some counseling, please come see me. My door is always open.”

Seamus smiled over his shoulder at his former Head of House; McGonagall had always had a soft spot for the Gryffindors. “Thank you, Professor.” He left the office and as he made his way down the spiral staircase he saw the shimmer again. He rushed the rest of the way down the stairs and followed it down the hall to the left.

He followed his magic down hall after hall, down several flights of stairs, and then back up a few. And then, when he was just about to catch it, the shimmer sunk through the floor. He ran as fast as he could to the next floor down but when he reached the spot he thought he’d find his magic it was nowhere to be found. He frowned and wondered if Luna had been right. Would he really be able to catch it someday?

He made his way out onto the grounds feeling like he had failed miserably. He felt it would have been fitting if the sky was filled with dark clouds promising ran and storm. Instead, he saw two fluffy white clouds against a blue sky. He wandered aimlessly across the grounds in the warm afternoon sun. It was such a beautiful day and yet he felt so miserable. He picked a spot in the middle of an empty but well-trimmed field and sat down.

Seamus picked at the grass around him for a couple of minutes before laying back and staring up at the nearly cloudless sky. One of the clouds in the sky looked a bit like the car Dean’s parents owned; the other just looked like a blob. He sighed and closed his eyes. He let his thoughts drift, not wanting to focus on any one thing for too long.

He thought about his time with Dean’s family. He thought about the loft they shared. He thought about the argument that led to their relationship. He thought about the first time they said “I love you.” He thought about the first time they had sex. He thought about summers spent apart. He thought about their first big fight in sixth year. He thought about the week it took for him to apologize to Dean. He thought about the week it took Dean to forgive him.

He thought about Dean going into hiding. He thought about going to Hogwarts without his best friend and lover. He thought about the torture he’d endured protecting the younger students. He thought about Luna not returning after Christmas. He thought about the fights with Slytherins that always got nasty. He thought about Ginny not coming back after Easter. He thought about seeking refuge in the Room of Requirement. He thought about all the students he couldn’t have helped.

He thought about Harry’s, Ron’s and Hermione’s return. He thought about Dean coming through their secret tunnel. He thought about the couple of minutes of happiness they had. He thought about the Battle. He thought about everyone they had lost. He thought about Hagrid carrying a lifeless Harry through the woods to the front of the school. He thought about Neville killing Nagini. He thought about Harry dueling He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named one last time.

He thought about waking up without magic. He thought about all the times he’d tried to cast even the simplest spells and failed. He thought about getting his Hogwarts letter for the last time. He thought about the train ride to school. He thought about chasing his magic. He thought about the dream he’d had every night since that first night at Hogwarts this year.

His thoughts stayed on that dream for a long time. In it he was chasing his magic through Hogwarts. It stayed just out of his reach the whole time he ran after it. Suddenly he would be in the second floor corridor where he’d lost his magic. He would freeze. As soon as he stopped his magic would change direction and shoot straight into his chest. His whole body would get warm and then he would wake up.

Seamus sat up suddenly. The dream was telling him exactly how to get his magic back. He rubbed at his eyes quickly, only realizing then that he’d starting crying at some point. He wiped his tears away and stood up. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn’t sure that he would be able to. He hadn’t been back to that hallway since that day. In fact, he’d been actively avoiding it. He would take the long way around from class to class just so that he didn’t have to go through that area. But if going there was the only way to feel whole again then he would find the courage to do it. He was a Gryffindor after all.

He made his way back across the field and back to the castle, giving himself a mental pep talk the whole way. By the time he entered through the large wooden doors he was ready. He started up the stairs with more confidence than he’d had in months. He reached the first floor and he felt like this was it. He was finally going to catch his magic. He would succeed. He continued up the stairs smiling widely.

“Seamus!”

Seamus’s heart dropped. “Fuck!” He stopped climb upwards a mere five steps from the second floor and turned to face the bushy-haired brunette who’d interrupted his mission. “Hey Hermione,” he said unenthusiastically.

Hermione ran up the last few steps to where Seamus was standing and smiled at him, oblivious to his disappointment. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. McGonagall said I should start tutoring you right away, so I thought we could start today.”

“Today?” Seamus frowned. “As in right now?”

Hermione shrugged. “Why not?”

Seamus couldn’t explain to her why right then was _not_ a good time, so he nodded in agreement. “All right.”

Hermione beamed. “Great! Let’s go to the library.”

Seamus glanced longingly down the second floor hallway as they passed it by. _Later, I promise_ , he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione worked with him straight through to dinner time. “Well it seems that you aren’t struggling with the theory parts.” She frowned slightly. She had drilled him in every subject; from the easy stuff they learned back in fourth year to the new material they had learned in their first week back. Seamus had managed to answer every one of her questions correctly. “So the problem must be with your wandwork.”

Seamus frowned; if he didn’t figure something out very soon Hermione would figure out the truth. “I just don’t know what’s wrong,” he lied to her.

The bell announcing dinner rang and Hermione’s frown deepened. “Well I guess this is where we leave it for now. Let’s meet in the common room Thursday after Herbology. Then we can assess your Spell-Casting performance.”

Seamus nodded, panicking on the inside. “Yeah, all right.” He stood up. “See you later.”

“Bye!” she waved as Seamus turned to leave.

He made his way down the stairs. He paused on the second floor landing and considered skipping dinner. But he’d missed both breakfast and lunch that day chasing his magic so he was starving. “I’ll be back,” he mumbled as he continued downward. 

When he reached the Great Hall, most of the other students were already there. He took his seat next to his boyfriend and started loading his plate with food. He smiled at Dean. “Hello, love.”

“Hi, Seamus. Where have you been all afternoon?”

Seamus took a bite of food before answering. “I had to meet with McGonagall, then I wandered around the grounds for a bit before Hermione dragged me to the library.” He took another bite. “Merlin, I’m famished.”

Dean frowned. “That’s what happens when you skip meals.” He paused. “What did McGonagall want?”

Seamus shrugged slightly. “Apparently I’m acting odd and doing poorly in class.” He chewed his food for a moment. “She said I had to start doing better and stop running out of class.” Another bite of food. “Oh, and Hermione’s got to tutor me twice a week. That’s why she dragged me to the library.”

Dean looked worried. “But if she’s tutoring you, won’t she figure out…” he trailed off, not sure if he should finish that sentence.

Seamus took another bite and then grinned. “Nah, I’ve got it all figured out.” Dean raised one eyebrow, but Seamus didn’t elaborate. Now was not the time and place to discuss it. This could wait until they were done eating. Dean must have realized the same thing because he didn’t ask any more questions. They ate in companionable silence for a long time. When Seamus finished his third plate of food he turned to his boyfriend. “You ready to go? I’ll tell you everything on the way.”

Dean chuckled. “I was ready twenty minutes ago.” Seamus rolled his eyes and led Dean out of the Great Hall. When they were in the entrance way Dean asked, “So what’s your new plan?”

Seamus made his way to the stairs as he spoke. “I’ve been having this dream for a week now. It’s the same every night. I’m chasing my magic through the school and, as usual, I can’t catch it.” They started up the steps. “Then I’m on the second floor, where I was hit with that spell, and I stop. When I stop chasing it my magic doubles back and shots straight into my chest.”

They were at the first floor landing now. “So what does that all mean?” Dean asked, following his lover up more stairs.

“It means that if I go to where I lost it, my magic will come to me,” Seamus explained.

Dean frowned at Seamus’s back as they reached the second floor. “But it was just a dream.”

Seamus turned around to face his boyfriend. “But it just feels right.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back there? You’ve been avoiding it all week.”

Seamus took a deep breath and nodded. “I can do it, Dean. I know I can. I _need_ my magic back.” 

Dean nodded. “Alright, lead the way.”

Seamus smiled and took Dean’s hand in his, entwining their fingers. He led them down the hall and around the corner. They continued through the second floor for a few moments, following a path that would get someone unfamiliar with Hogwarts lost. Seamus walked slower and slower as they neared their destination. Dean squeezed his hand reassuringly as they turned the last corner. “Wait here,” Seamus said quietly. He let go of Dean’s hand and walked further down the hall.

The air felt heavier and warmer than in the rest of the school. Seamus stopped a little less than halfway down the hall. Suddenly, he felt like he was back in the Battle of Hogwarts. He could hear the sounds of spells hitting the walls on the floors above and below him, the sounds of people running this way and that, and the sounds of giants and other creatures attacking the castle.

Something turned the corner in front of him; it was big and dark. Seamus drew his wand and pointed it at the figure that took shape as the darkness slowly approached him. Was he about to be attacked again? He wouldn’t be able to defend himself this time! The dark figure kept moving menacingly toward him and he tried to move but found he couldn’t. It felt like he’d been petrified.

Dean watched as Seamus pulled his wand out of his pocket, staring at a spot down the hall with something akin to fear in his eyes. Dean didn’t see anything and considered walking down and joining his lover; but Seamus had told him to wait. So that’s what he did; he waited and watched, but he had his wand ready just in case.

Seamus’s heart pounded in his chest; the shadowy figure was only a few feet in front of him. It raised an arm and pointed it at the sandy haired Gryffindor. Seamus panicked slightly, but still he didn’t move. His outstretched arm shook slightly. The shimmer rose up abruptly out of the floor. Seamus gasped; his magic was right there, less than a foot in front of him. But he was still unable to move. It rose slowly up until it was on level with Seamus’s chest. As it hovered there Seamus’s eyes darted between it and the phantom figure. He felt as if the figure was going to hex him at any moment. His breathing sped up until he was nearly hyperventilating.

Dean tried to step forward but couldn’t. It was like there was an invisible wall right in front of him. He paced back and forth across the hall, watching his boyfriend worriedly. There was definitely something wrong, even if _he_ couldn’t see it.

Seamus watched as his magic finally moved. It floated lazily toward him until it was mere centimeters in front of him. Then it shot forward and straight into his chest. He felt hot from his head to his toes and his vision swam in front of him. The shadow figure made a slashing movement with its arm and a bright yellow light rushed toward Seamus. “ _Protego_!” He shouted.

His spell was so powerful that the shield it produced was effectively visible. The phantom’s spell bounced off it and the figure disappeared. The sounds of the battle stopped and the hallway felt normal again. Seamus’s shield faded away. He turned and smiled at Dean for a second before his vision went black and he fainted.

Dean gasped when Seamus cast the Shield Charm. It worked; Seamus had his magic back. He grinned at his lover when the other man turned and smiled at him. Then Seamus crumpled to the ground and Dean rushed forward, the invisible wall gone. He reached his lover and knelt down to check on him. Seamus was unconscious but was still breathing.

Dean tried to rouse Seamus but it didn’t work. Dean considered taking him to the Hospital Wing but he wasn’t sure what he would tell Madam Pomfrey. His only other option was to take him back to Gryffindor Tower. He cast a spell to levitate Seamus and made his way slowly up to his house.

The halls were empty nearly the entire way up; it was getting late and most of the students were already in their dorms or common rooms. Dean moved slowly through the school. As he neared the seventh floor he saw the first person he’d seen since he’d started upwards. “Hey Neville!” he called out.

Neville, who was quite a few stairs above Dean, turned around. “Hello Dea- Whoa, what happened to him?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” Dean said, shrugging. “Mind helping me to get him the rest of the way to our dorm? I’m not sure how much longer I can hold the levitation spell.”

“Alright,” Neville agreed, assuming Dean had a good explanation. He walked back down the stairs and he and Dean put Seamus’s arms around their necks. Dean ended his spell and put his wand away. They made their way painstakingly slowly up the last flight of stairs and down the hall to the portrait of the fat lady. “Cornish pixies,” Neville told the lady and the painting swung forward.

They struggled through the hole and were immediately surrounded by concerned Gryffindors. “What happened?” Lavender asked.

“Is he all right?” Ginny questioned next.

“Why didn’t you take him to the Hospital Wing?” Parvati inquired.

“I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey,” Hermione announced, turning toward the portrait hole.

“Wait!” Dean called. “There’s no need for that. He’ll be fine.”

Hermione frowned at the dark-skinned man, but didn’t leave. “What happened?”

Dean frowned as well. “Let me put him in bed and then I’ll come back and explain everything, okay?” There were murmurs of agreement from his friends. “Come on Neville.”

They took Seamus up to their dorm room and laid him on his bed. “Give me a minute? I want to try waking him again,” Dean told Neville.

Neville smiled. “Sure. But don’t be too long, you owe us all some sort of explanation.”

“I know.” Dean watched Neville leave. “ _Ennervate_!” he tried, pointing his wand at his lover. It didn’t work and Dean frowned. He climbed into bed with Seamus and pulled him close. “I have to tell them something, but what?” He kissed Seamus’s forehead. “Won’t you wake up, love?” Dean placed his head on Seamus’s shoulder, thinking about what he could say to explain why he’d turned up with an unconscious Seamus.

Seamus’s eyes fluttered and then opened. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he stared up at the dark red canopy above him. Where was he? He turned his head slightly and came nose to nose with his lover. “Hi.”

“Seamus! You’re awake!” Dean was so happy that he snogged the other man, hard.

Seamus happily kissed his boyfriend for a few moments before pulling away. “How did I get up here?”

“Well, after you fainted I levitated you most of the way. Then Neville helped get you the rest of the way,” Dean explained. “Everyone’s waiting in the common room to hear the story of how you ended up unconscious.”

“Oh.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” He paused. “What _did _happen?”__

__Seamus sighed. “Let’s go to the common room, I don’t want to explain it twice. And we might as well tell our friends the truth now anyways.”_ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__“You only realize the extent of dreams until you’ve lived them,” Seamus said later that evening. The common room was nearly empty; most of the Gryffindors were in bed._ _

__Dean smiled. “That was very deep.”_ _

__Seamus shrugged. “I have my moments.”_ _

__“Few and far between,” Dean agreed._ _

__Seamus pouted, “Hey!”_ _

__Dean kissed him gently. “You know I love you just the way you are.”_ _

__“I love you too.”_ _

__They sat in silence for a while. Then Dean spoke, “I guess Hermione won’t have to tutor you anymore.”_ _

__“I guess not.”_ _

__There was more silence. They sat there hand in hand, watching the sparks from the fire fade into the night. Eventually Dean dosed off and Seamus was forced with a tough decision: should he wake the other man or just sleep in the common room?_ _

__The next morning, Hermione left early for breakfast. She smiled a goofy smile when she saw the two men sleeping in front of the empty fireplace. She quietly conjured a blanket and laid it over her friends before leaving the common room._ _


End file.
